Spiced Life Conversation
The Becoming Self-Led™ Library for the Woman Learning to Trust Herself.
Codependency & Emotional Eating Recovery for Women
Who Are Ready to Stop Abandoning Themselves
Emotional Eating Recovery. Codependency. Women Healing Self-Abandonment
The Becoming Self-Led™Media Library for the Woman Learning to Trust Herself.
Welcome, I'm Glad You're Here.
We Create... Books. Conversations. Articles. Video Series. Journals. Courses. Practical tools that help women move from self-abandonment to self-trust.
During my last 10 years of full recovery and remission from self-abandonment, codependency, and both anxiety and binge eating disorder, I've learned that A woman's emotional patterns never stay inside her mind. They eventually appear in her body, her relationships, her hormones, and her eating habits. Welcome to Becoming Self-Led™—a sanctuary of books, frameworks, and education designed for the Gutty Girl who is ready to end self-abandonment and regulate instead of react.
Explore the Collection / Step into the Gutty Girl Lifestyle Academy
Overcoming High-Functioning Anxiety & Burnout:
A Blueprint for the Chronically Over-Giver
You do not need another generic meal plan or gentle advice; you need a life-altering intervention.
If you are a high-achieving woman who is tired of playing nice, abandoning your own needs, and using food to numb the quiet rage of codependency, it is time to change your entire reality.
The Hidden Reality of People-Pleaser Burnout
Hello, I'm Dr. Nikki LeToya White. I provide the exact tools and resources to help women end burnout today by addressing its true root cause.
Burnout is only a surface symptom of a much deeper problem. If you do not uncover why you feel overwhelmed, exhausted, insecure, and entirely responsible for other people’s feelings, actions, and well-being, you will never find a lasting solution.
I Didn't Build Another Coaching Business.
I Built the Library I Needed.
For years I searched for answers about emotional eating, anxious attachment, people-pleasing, hormones, self-abandonment, and what it actually meant to trust myself.
Some answers came from nutrition.
Some came from recovery.
Some came from writing.
Some came from living.
Today those lessons live inside books, articles, conversations, journals, and educational programs designed to help women become self-led.
From Childhood Emotional Neglect to the "LonerWife" Trap
For decades, I didn't realize I was abandoning myself. My path toward high-functioning anxiety began in childhood:
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The Weight of Absence: My mother left me to live with my great-grandmother, and my father was entirely absent.
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Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN): My family met my physical needs but struggled to show any emotion or presence.
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The Survival Trap: I learned early that love wasn't about attention or understanding—it was simply about surviving.
As an adult living in Atlanta, Georgia, I tried to do it all. I was a trucker's wife, a mother of four, an only child, a counselor, and a constant support system for everyone else. I thought putting others first was love. In reality, it was my abandonment wound and CEN trauma running the show.
Slowly and quietly, I disappeared inside my own life. I waited to watch movies until my husband came home from the road. I postponed trips, delayed investing in myself, and refused to spend time alone. I lived in a quiet house of four kids, eating sugar in the kitchen at midnight, waiting for a phone call from a highway three states away—married, but completely alone.
I was a "LonerWife," married but living apart as a single mom.
Waiting to live my own life.
Waiting to be chosen.
Understanding Codependency and Emotional Dependency
Through my own recovery, I realized I was struggling with a codependent personality.
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What is Codependency? A codependent person plans their entire life around pleasing another person, placing others on a pedestal while completely ignoring themselves, waiting for someone else to make them a priority.
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Where Does It Come From? Codependency originates from childhood emotional neglect trauma and early abandonment.
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The High-Functioning Anxiety Mask: Because codependents frequently lack self-trust, they become high-functioning anxiety women to control their environment and stay safe.
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Emotional Dependency: Out of a severe fear of rejection, codependents look for external happiness, latching onto whoever or whatever they think can provide satisfaction.
Due to my history of Complex Relational Trauma, I unconsciously created a one-sided, codependent marriage. I didn't know what it felt like to trust my own decisions or feel safe expanding my life as an individual.
Your World Looks Fine on the Outside, But You Are Fading Into Someone Else's "Soul Contract."
If this story feels familiar, you are not alone. Millions of high-functioning women quietly disappear inside their daily routines and loved ones' lives. From the outside, your life looks perfect:
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Marriage
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Kids
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Responsibilities
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Stability
But inside, you are slowly fading from your own story.
Here is the truth: You do not have to destroy your relationships to reclaim yourself. You just have to stop abandoning your own identity, give yourself permission to heal from trauma and addiction, and start living your own individual life, as God intended.
The Path to Codependency Recovery
True healing and nervous system regulation begin with small, non-negotiable acts of self-love and self-loyalty:
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Saying Yes to You: Dedicate time or resources to something that is exclusively for your own fulfillment.
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Setting Boundaries: Establish one firm boundary and stop sending desperate energy to be chosen by others.
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Speaking Honestly: Clearly voice what you need, like, dislike, and will no longer tolerate.
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Breaking the Sugar Cycle: Transition into a low-sugar lifestyle. Sugar isn't your true problem; it is your substitute for sweetness. When you spend 100% of your energy sweetness-hunting for everyone else, your brain demands a quick chemical hit of joy to survive the depletion. We don't fix the food until we fix the self-abandonment.
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Releasing Control: Stop trying to manage people and events through helplessness, guilt, coercion, advice-giving, or manipulation to avoid rejection.
Take the First Step Toward Yourself Today
These small steps rebuild self-trust—the absolute foundation of confidence, clarity, and personal freedom. Stop putting yourself last and start reclaiming your life right now.
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Download the Gutty Girl Life Audit for High-Functioning Anxiety People Pleasers: Start noticing the exact ways you have been abandoning your own needs.
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Access Your Free 5-Day Detox Download: Begin healing your body and breaking the chemical dependency on food and sugar.
If your goal is to build healthy relationships, treat yourself with respect, develop real coping skills, build/strengthen your self-worth, and create routines that keep you grounded, then my work is fully prepared to support you. My prices are premium because the transformation is premium — and because I only work with women who are ready to show up for themselves and not waste their own time or mine.
The Gutty Girl Self-Abandonment Recovery Path
Latest from the Library
Books by Dr. Nikki LeToya White
Becoming Self-Led™
A Media Library For Women Ready to Choose Themselves
Books. Conversations. Articles. Video Series. Journals. Courses. Practical tools that help women move from self-abandonment to self-trust.





Hello
Breaking free of addiction and substance abuse is a very tough business, I know I've been there as a patient and therapist and one of the most common pieces of advice to many newcomers I was taught to give when I worked in the mental health and substance abuse industry as a therapist was to attend 90 meetings in 90 days. This is a seemingly tall order, but what's the point? Turns out, there are very good reasons to consider your 90 in 90.

Why 90 Meetings in 90 Days?
Breaking free of addiction and substance abuse is a very tough business, I know I've been there as a patient and therapist and one of the most common pieces of advice to many newcomers I was taught to give when I worked in the mental health and substance abuse industry as a therapist was to attend 90 meetings in 90 days. This is a seemingly tall order, but what's the point? Turns out, there are very good reasons to consider your 90 in 90:
Attending 90 meetings in 90 days is a common recommendation for newly sober individuals. This intensive schedule of support can provide numerous benefits to help sustain early recovery. First, it helps establish a strong support network of lasting connections among peers in recovery who attend group sessions. Second, it provides a structured routine to replace old habits and gain a renewed mindset about what could be possible for your future if you choose to create a better quality of life. Third, it offers the opportunity to learn from the experiences and wisdom of others in the program for two reasons which are to feel less alone in your struggle, as well as the opportunity to share one's own journey.
Furthermore, attending meetings on a daily basis helps to build momentum and develop a strong foundation to stay sober for your first 90 days of sobriety. Ultimately, participating in 90 meetings in 90 days can help set a positive tone for the rest of one's sobriety journey.
Why you should commit to 90 meetings in 90 days
You will gain an understanding of the Sobriety goals you need to consider to add to your recovery plan.
Much like the 12-step program. Many people feel that the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous sound like mumbo-jumbo the first time they read them. That's OK!
The 12 Steps are a set of guiding principles for those in recovery from addiction, and attending meetings provides a structured environment for individuals to delve into each step.
Meetings often include discussions, personal reflections, and group support, allowing participants to gain a deeper understanding of the steps and how they relate to their own sobriety. It is how I develop my own recovery process using the 7 Laws of Recovery.
Additionally, hearing the stories and perspectives of others can provide new insights into how to stay sober and help clarify any misunderstandings about the steps. By participating in 90 meetings in 90 days, individuals can strengthen their grasp of the 12 Steps or in our case the 7 Laws of Recovery and work towards a successful and sustained recovery.
It allows you to get to know others in your support groups
Participating in 90 meetings in 90 days is a great way to get to know others in your 12-step support groups, or whatever community you are participating in. The regular attendance allows for the development of strong relationships and a sense of community with others who are on a similar journey.
This can provide a valuable source of emotional support and encouragement, as well as accountability, as you work towards your recovery goals. In meetings, you have the opportunity to hear the experiences and insights of others and share your own struggles and successes.
Through this consistent interaction, you can develop meaningful connections with others in the group, who will become a valuable way to receive support and encouragement throughout your sobriety journey.
Your commitment to recovery will match your commitment to getting high
Most of us who got sober remember the grind of binge eating, drinking, and doing drugs: wake up, acquire money, sneak trips to the dealer or store into our daily schedule, or find or hidden food then escape rinse, repeat.
It's often been said in sobriety that if we attempted to stay sober with half the vigor that we had towards overeating, drinking, and using, we'd all be sober in no time!
Doing a 90 in 90 is a fantastic way to build this level of commitment. Remember, when you were binge eating, doing drugs and alcohol, you made it happen. Most people can make a ninety meetings happen, even if it seems like an overwhelming commitment in the beginning.
You'll receive guidance from other members who know your struggles
Remember, everyone in the 12-step meetings you attend, or whatever sober meeting you are connected to from the newcomers to the old timers, understands your struggles and has been where you are.
The recovery community be it in-person or online is made up of individuals who have faced similar challenges and have found fellowship, sponsorship, and hope through the 12-step program or in our case the 7 Laws of Recovery.
By participating in daily meetings, you have the opportunity to practice being honest in recovery and connect with others who have experienced the same struggles and can offer guidance, encouragement, and hope.
This support can be especially valuable during difficult times when it can be easy to feel alone or like giving up.
The members of your 12-step group will provide a network of individuals who truly understand your journey and can offer the guidance you need to continue on the path to sobriety.
You'll end up having fun
Though your first 30 days may prove uncomfortable, pushing through the discomfort will be worth it. Nobody hangs around 12-step programs or online groups long before some of the fun we're having starts to rub off on them!
Members of AA, NA, CA, and alternative peer groups are regularly having get-togethers, playing sports, doing open mike nights, you name it!
If you're wondering how you'll ever enjoy yourself in recovery, look no further than the connections you'll make during your 90 in 90.
If you cannot commit to 90 in 90
For some, the commitment of getting to a meeting every day for three months is simply not possible, due to life circumstances.
Note, most of the time, we find that it is possible, with a little bit of scheduling savvy. Remember, you don't have to do this forever - it's just an introduction to the sober living way of life.
However, if your work, school, or family schedules just make it impossible, here are a couple of things to try:
Use double meeting days
If someone's work schedule makes daily meeting attendance impossible (for instance, those who work 24hr+ shifts at their jobs), they can simply attend two meetings per day on other days to hit seven total meetings per week for 90 days.
Seek virtual meetings
Though a virtual or online meeting can't truly replace the experience of an in-person meeting, it is still an invaluable tool for someone who can't make in-person meetings work all of the time.
If you're recovering from sugar addiction, codependency people-pleasing, or binge/emotional/stress eating. Join our community here.
If you're recovering from alcohol, Alcoholics Anonymous's resource for online meetings in order to find one that fits your schedule. If drugs were your flavor, check Narcotics Anonymous's online meeting resource or Cocaine Anonymous's online meeting resource.
Utilize extra phone calls to sponsors and friends in the program
Additionally, connecting with a sponsor or accountability partner can provide valuable one-on-one support.
Whatever approach is taken, it's important to maintain the momentum you've built. Every step towards recovery is a positive one and the most important thing is to keep moving forward.
Aren't therapy and addiction treatment supposed to get me sober?
Therapy and drug addiction treatment are great tools. Many people who need to get sober also suffered some trauma, or perhaps they need to temporarily remove themselves from their environment in order to begin their journey.
While treatment options and professional help are certainly invaluable, the lasting connections you'll develop from attending AA, NA, or an alternative peer group will span the test of time. It's often noted in recovery that getting sober is a fairly simple affair, it's staying sober that's tough!
90 Meetings in 90 Days: A Powerful Tool for Recovery
Attending 90 meetings in 90 days can provide valuable support and guidance for newly sober individuals in their recovery journey. The structured routine and sense of community can help replace old habits with good habits, while the daily interactions and discussions can deepen understanding of the 12 steps if recovering from alcoholism or our community the 7 Laws of Recovery to heal from both trauma and addiction, and provide the support needed to sustain long-term sobriety.
With time and effort, recovery is achievable, and attending 90 meetings in 90 days can be a valuable step toward that goal.
ARE YOU LOOKING TO DIVE DEEPER INTO SELF-CARE?
I Can Help in Developing A Plan For Self Care
Do you want help developing a self-care plan that works for your own busy schedule? Do you want accountability in implementing a self-care plan? If you or someone you love is struggling to maintain optimal mental and emotional health, consider reaching out to Spiced Life Conversation Art Wellness Studio and Botanica. We are a Metro Atlanta, Conyers Georgia area. We are a coaching and counseling practice with empathetic, skilled counselors and recovery coaches who can help you set goals, develop a self-care routine, and move forward to build a more fulfilling life. Our team would be happy to work with you either just for a couple of sessions to develop and implement a Self-care plan or longer term to work toward overall better mental health within our membership site or other programs.
About The Author:
Dr. Nikki LeToya White MSEd-TL, Ph.D. RHN is the founder, director, and full-time board-certified trauma-informed nutritionist, folk herbalist, and wellness consultant at Spiced Life Conversation Art Wellness Studio and Botanica. She created Spiced Life Conversation, LLC Art Wellness Studio, and Botanica to provide the Metro Atlanta area with counseling and coaching services where clients are carefully matched with the right program for healing abandonment and childhood emotional neglect trauma that cause codependency, emotional eating, financial stress, and imposter syndrome as it relates to the fear of success and being abandon. We help you begin your emotional healing journey with ease. Recently, we have expanded to include an online membership site so we now provide support to people living all over the world. All of our recovery coaches provide at least one evidence-based treatment to assist in your recovery. Dr. White is a big proponent of self-care and helping people live a fulfilling life! She has been in full remission with both codependency and emotional binge eating disorder since 2016. In living a life in recovery from sugar addiction. I love my low-sugar balanced lifestyle.
Best Regard
Dr. Nikki LeToya White
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