We are all recovering from something.” As for me, I’m recovering from a binge eating disorder, people-pleasing, and codependency-I tend to lose my sense of self in relationships. As a born Empath I didn't understand my gifts or why I attracted the kind of people who were wounded or in need of light. I never understood why I always felt different, exhausted, and like an outcasted around people. All I know is that I was in pain, felt loss, and felt like I didn't belong.  My entire life I've struggled with abandonment issues, neglect, interpersonal relationships, and strange behavior I could never quite understand why I would abandon my own needs to heal the emotions of others, if they were sad, upset, or lost I would without a doubt feel responsible for their feelings, emotions, and life choices. I have always been very independent, and self-reliant, and never feared being alone, yet I've always tended to be emotionally needy. “Needy” was the worst word in the world to me. I hated that feeling, and I judged myself when I felt it. Seeking validation to feel good about myself, worthy of love, or deserving of anything. I tried hard by performing for love to get other people to fill my emptiness, and when they didn’t work, the neediness surfaced time after time. Always hoping that someone else would love me when I didn’t love myself. At the time I wasn't aware of my gifts. But now I know that... 

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Empaths - are people who can absorb and truly feel the emotions of others. Being an empath means that you feel other people’s emotions as your own. For example, if someone around you is very stressed you might start to feel very stressed even though there is no direct reason for you to feel this way. With this particular gift, observing another person’s emotional state activates parts of the neural network involved in processing that same state within yourself, whether it is disgust, touch, fear, or even pain (think of sympathy pains during pregnancy or trauma). The problem comes in when they know they are highly empathic and allow themselves to be hurt by people they choose to be with – or are unconsciously attracted to.

Although Empaths can scan another’s energy for thoughts, and feelings and possibly for past, present, and future life occurrences. The hallmark of an empath is that they feel and absorb other people’s emotions and/or physical symptoms because of their high sensitivities. This can become a problem. They filter the world through their intuition and have a difficult time intellectualizing their feelings. Empaths are unique, highly sensitive people who see and react to the world differently than most.  Empathic people process sensory information much more intensely and deeply; making them extremely compassionate and understanding.

This sensitivity usually leads Empaths to a sincere and strong desire to help people; so driven by it they often sacrifice their well-being, without realizing they are doing so.  Empaths are the sensitive types who are drawn to making the interpersonal world a better place; they are generally kind, loving, and understanding in ways friends and family cannot imagine being.  Empaths are often drawn to work that is meaningful on a very personal level and that makes a positive difference in the lives of others closest to them. So, I get how you feel and what you are going through! Literally. However, if you are aware of your sensitive nature and choose to allow yourself to be hurt by people you choose to be with because you feel you have to perform for love because you don't feel deserving of love, respect, and mutual compassionate relationships then this is a problem. A sign of codependency.

If you find yourself in the grey area of addictive behavior - be it an eating disorder, alcohol abuse, people-pleasing, or any number of things - here are five ways that being in recovery - and owning my recovery - has changed my life for the better.

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