Trauma-Triggered Marketing: When You Can’t Show Up Online Without Performing

Dr. Nikki LeToya White, Trauma Informed Nutritionist and Recovery Coach

I was in Canva — again — trying to design the “perfect” Pinterest pin.

The font needed to be soft but strong.The message? Inspiring but not too much.The image? Polished but still real.

I rewrote the caption five times.Posted it.Then deleted it an hour later because no one “liked” it fast enough.

That wasn’t strategy.It was survival.

When “Being Seen” Feels Like Being Exposed

Every marketing coach tells you to “just show up.”Be consistent. Be valuable. Be visible.

But no one tells you what to do when showing up online feels like ripping your heart out and putting it on a shelf for strangers to judge.

That’s what visibility feels like when you have:

• Abandonment trauma

• Childhood emotional neglect

• A nervous system wired to fear rejection

• A lifelong habit of performing for love

I wasn’t just marketing.I was bracing for abandonment every time I hit “share.”

Where This Pattern Comes From

Growing up, I had to read the room before I could be myself.I learned to:

• Say the right thing

• Hide what hurt

• Be who they needed so I wouldn’t get rejected

That performance became my personality.Later, it became my marketing voice.

So even in business, I wasn’t writing from truth.I was writing from trauma.

What Trauma-Triggered Marketing Looks Like

You overthink every word.You delete posts if they don’t “perform.”You equate low likes with low worth.You obsess over analytics instead of alignment.You stop posting altogether because it’s just too much.

It’s not laziness. It’s emotional exhaustion from trying to stay safe in a world that taught you being visible = being judged.

The Breakdown That Woke Me Up

There was a week where I scheduled 12 posts and only published 1.Not because I didn’t believe in my work — but because every time I went to post, I felt:

• Unworthy

• Exposed

• Like I’d said too much or not enough

I closed the app and opened the fridge.Bingeing gave me a moment of control.Because putting myself out there felt like losing it.

That night, I realized I wasn’t afraid of being seen.I was afraid of being seen and rejected — again.

What I Do Differently Now

Marketing in recovery doesn’t mean I never feel fear.It means I no longer let fear drive the content bus.

I’ve created a marketing process that keeps my nervous system in mind — not just my audience.

Here’s what I practice now:

1. Regulate Before I Write or Record

I check in with my body:

• Am I grounded?

• Am I performing?

• Am I writing this to connect… or to protect myself from rejection?

If I feel triggered, I pause.Visibility shouldn’t come at the cost of safety.

2. I Speak From the Scar, Not the Wound

I don’t share to get healed.I share from a place of healing.

That means:

• Writing when I’ve processed, not when I’m spiraling

• Being real, but not raw for the sake of attention

• Checking my motive: Is this for connection or approval?

3. I Use the “Truth Over Trend” Filter

Before I hit post, I ask:

“Is this my truth — even if no one claps?”“Would I still be proud of this if it got 3 likes?”“Does this reflect who I am… or who I think they want me to be?”

If it’s not true, it doesn’t go out.

4. I Let Quiet Posts Be Sacred Wins

The posts that don’t go viral?The ones with 10 likes and no comments?I’ve learned to see those as sacred seeds — not failures.

Because healing is not always loud.Sometimes, it’s the softest shares that change the most hearts.

If You’re a Woman in Business Who Can’t Post Without Panic…

It doesn’t mean you’re unprofessional.It doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.

It means you’ve got a sensitive system — one that remembers what it felt like to be emotionally exposed without support.

Marketing isn’t just about clarity and consistency.It’s also about emotional safety and self-trust.

Want to Build a Marketing Strategy That Feels Grounded, Not Gut-Wrenching?

Book your VIP Day at spicedlifeconversation.com/VIPday

Together, we’ll map out a trauma-informed marketing rhythm that honors:

• Your voice

• Your visibility wounds

• And your recovery rituals

Because you deserve to show up as you are — not as who you think you need to be to be loved.

Subscribe to my newsletter here.

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 Do you want help developing a self-care plan that works for your own busy schedule? Do you want accountability in implementing a self-care plan? If you or someone you love is struggling to maintain optimal mental and emotional health, consider reaching out to Spiced Life Conversation Art Wellness Studio and Botanica. We are a Metro Atlanta, Conyers Georgia area. We are a coaching and counseling practice with empathetic, skilled counselors and recovery coaches who can help you set goals, develop a self-care routine, and move forward to build a more fulfilling life. Our team would be happy to work with you either just for a couple of sessions to develop and implement a Self-care plan or longer term to work toward overall better mental health within our membership site or other programs.

About The Author:  Dr. Nikki LeToya White MSEd-TL, Ph.D. RHN is the founder, director, and full-time board-certified trauma-informed nutritionist, folk herbalist, and wellness consultant at Spiced Life Conversation Art Wellness Studio and Botanica. She created Spiced Life Conversation, LLC Art Wellness Studio, and Botanica to provide the Metro Atlanta area with counseling and coaching services where clients are carefully matched with the right program for healing abandonment and childhood emotional neglect trauma that cause codependency, emotional eating, financial stress, and imposter syndrome as it relates to the fear of success and being abandon. We help you begin your emotional healing journey with ease. Recently, we have expanded to include an online membership site so we now provide support to people living all over the world. All of our recovery coaches provide at least one evidence-based treatment to assist in your recovery. Dr. White is a big proponent of self-care and helping people live a fulfilling life! She has been in full remission with both codependency and emotional binge eating disorder since 2016. In living a life in recovery from sugar addiction. I love my low-sugar balanced lifestyle.

Best Regards

 Dr. Nikki LeToya White