The People-Pleaser's Guide to Emotional Eating: How Approval Addiction Fuels Binge Cycles
- Nikki White
- Aug 9
- 5 min read
I said yes to everyone but myself. My body paid the price.
I used to think I had a food problem. But really, I had a boundaries problem.And a silence problem. And a “please don’t leave me” problem.Food was just the only thing that never asked for anything in return. When You’re Addicted to Being Liked, Food Becomes Your Only Safe Space.
I didn’t always see myself as a people-pleaser. I just thought I was a good person — helpful, kind, supportive.I said yes when I wanted to say no.I overgave even when I was depleted.I tolerated behavior that hurt me because I didn’t want to be seen as difficult.
But behind the mask of “the good girl” was a woman crumbling inside.And at the end of every day, there was always food.
The Link Between Approval Addiction and Emotional Eating
People-pleasing isn’t just a personality quirk.It’s a trauma response — a survival strategy born from abandonment, shame, or childhood emotional neglect.
When love feels conditional, you learn to perform to earn your place.You become hypervigilant.You fear rejection the way others fear heights or snakes.You tiptoe through your own life, avoiding conflict at all costs.
And guess what happens when you finally get alone, behind closed doors?
Your body crashes. Your nervous system spirals. Your emotions boil over.And food becomes the only place you can finally let go.
How My “Yes Girl” Persona Fueled My Binge Cycles
The more I gave away pieces of myself, the more I reached for sugar, carbs, and comfort food.
It looked like:
Rewarding myself after a day of emotional labor
Soothing the guilt of setting boundaries
Numbing the grief of feeling unseen in relationships
Silencing the rage I didn’t know I had permission to feel
Each bite was a quiet rebellion. A protest I never said out loud. A soft, sweet “you matter” when I couldn’t give it to myself.
The Nervous System Can’t Keep Faking It Forever
You can’t override your nervous system with perfectionism or people-pleasing forever.Eventually, your body keeps the score.It shows up as:
Chronic exhaustion
Emotional eating
Hormonal imbalance
Mood swings
Gut issues
Anxiety and shame around food
And even though you’re doing everything “right,” you feel empty inside.
The Emotional Eating Isn’t the Problem — It’s the Symptom
You’re not bingeing because you’re out of control.You’re bingeing because no one taught you how to express anger, grief, or fear safely.
You were taught to:
Smile when you’re dying inside
Keep quiet to keep the peace
Be agreeable, even if it means betraying yourself
Food isn’t the enemy. It’s the only thing that feels safe enough to hold the weight of everything you’re carrying.
What Helped Me Break the Cycle
Healing started the day I stopped trying to fix my food — and started tending to my feelings.
Here’s what helped:
Naming the people-pleasing patterns. “I say yes to avoid rejection.” “I overfunction to feel needed.”
Setting “scary” boundaries — and letting people be disappointed. (Hard. But holy.)
Letting myself feel anger without shame. (That was big. And new.)
Creating safety in my body through breathwork, rest, and body journaling
Saying no without overexplaining — and breathing through the panic
And slowly, the urge to numb with food began to fade.Not because I forced it — but because I was finally nourishing myself emotionally.
If You’re a People-Pleaser Who Struggles With Food…
You are not alone.
You’re not broken.
You’re exhausted.
Your emotional eating isn’t about food. It’s about survival.And you’ve survived a lot — with almost no recognition.
But healing is possible. And it doesn’t require perfection.It just requires truth.
Ready to Stop Shrinking Yourself?
I help high-achieving, nurturing women who are done performing for love and ready to reclaim their voice, their boundaries, and their relationship with food.
👉 Join our community of women in recovery from sugar addiction, emotional eating, and people-pleasing.
You deserve a life where your needs aren’t a burden — and your cravings don’t speak louder than your heart.
Dr. Nikki L. White is a Trauma-Informed Nutritionist, Recovery Coach, and Founder of Spiced Life Conversation. She helps women in recovery heal unresolved emotional wounds, rebuild self-trust, and reclaim their lives from addiction, codependency, and emotional eating. Learn more at spicedlifeconversation.com.
✨ Ready to begin your own emotional clarity journey? Join my private Gutty Girl Lifestyle Recovery Community for women healing from codependency, sugar addiction, and emotional eating — visit spicedlifeconversation.com and start your healing today.
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Help Developing A Plan For Self-Care
Do you want help developing a self-care plan that works for your busy schedule? Do you want accountability in implementing a self-care plan? If you or someone you love is struggling to maintain optimal mental and emotional health or life in recovery from sugar addiction or codependency people pleasing, consider reaching out to Spiced Life Conversation Art Wellness Studio and Botanica. We are in the Metro Atlanta, Conyers Georgia area. We are a coaching and counseling practice with empathetic, skilled counselors and recovery coaches who can help you set goals, develop a self-care routine, and move forward to build a more fulfilling life. Our team would be happy to work with you either just for a couple of sessions to develop and implement a Self-care plan or longer term to work toward overall better mental health within our membership site or other programs.
About The Author:
Dr. Nikki LeToya White MSEd-TL, Ph.D. RHN is the founder, director, and full-time board-certified trauma-informed nutritionist, folk herbalist, and wellness consultant at Spiced Life Conversation Art Wellness Studio and Botanica. She created Spiced Life Conversation, LLC
Art Wellness Studio and Botanica with the intention of providing the Metro Atlanta area with counseling and coaching services where clients are carefully matched with the right program for healing abandonment and childhood emotional neglect trauma that cause codependency, emotional eating, financial stress, and imposter syndrome as it relates to the fear of success and being abandon. We help you begin your emotional healing journey with ease. Recently, we have expanded to include an online membership site so we now provide support to people living all over the world. All of our recovery coaches provide at least one evidence-based treatment to assist in your recovery. Dr. White is a big proponent of self-care and helping people live fulfilling lives in the recovery of sugar addiction, emotional eating, and codependency people pleasing! She has been in full remission with both codependency and emotional binge eating disorder since 2016. In living a life in recovery from sugar addiction. Loving her low-sugar balanced lifestyle.
Warm Regards
Dr. Nikki LeToya White
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