The Stress That Almost Took Me Back: What Childhood Adversity Does to the Body (And Why Most Women Miss It)

I used to think I had a discipline problem.

I could run a business.Hit deadlines.Show up polished.Smile through anything.

But put me in emotional distress?I was one hard conversation away from a binge.

For years, I didn’t connect my emotional eating, codependency, and anxiety to childhood adversity. I thought trauma meant something dramatic. Violent. Obvious.

I didn’t realize trauma can be quiet.

And I didn’t realize my body had been carrying it the entire time.

What Is Childhood Adversity, Really?

Childhood adversity includes stressful or harmful experiences before age 18:

• Emotional neglect

• Abandonment

• Chronic instability

• Caregivers who were overwhelmed, unavailable, or unpredictable

• Community violence or disaster

• Substance use in the home

Not every difficult experience becomes trauma.

According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA):

Trauma results from events experienced as physically or emotionally harmful or life-threatening that have lasting adverse effects on functioning and wellbeing.

The key phrase is lasting adverse effects.

Two children can live through the same event.One develops trauma. One does not.

Why?

• Was there emotional support?

• Did the child feel safe?

• How did the child interpret what happened?

• Did their nervous system ever get to settle?

Trauma isn’t just what happened.It’s what your body learned from it.

Toxic Stress: When the Body Never Gets to Exhale

There’s normal stress — the kind that pushes you to grow.

And then there’s toxic stress.

Toxic stress happens when a child experiences prolonged adversity without consistent safety or co-regulation. The stress response stays activated. The body never returns fully to baseline.

Here’s what that means biologically:

• Cortisol stays elevated or becomes dysregulated

• Inflammation increases

• Sleep cycles destabilize

• Attachment systems wire toward hypervigilance or shutdown

• The nervous system becomes threat-sensitive

In childhood, your brain and body are still developing. Trauma during that stage doesn’t just hurt emotionally — it shapes biology.

And that biology follows you into adulthood.

How It Showed Up in My Life

No one would’ve called my childhood chaotic from the outside.

But emotional neglect is subtle.

There were feelings I learned not to express.Needs that felt inconvenient.Moments when I felt invisible.

So my body adapted.

I became hyper-independent.Hyper-competent.Hyper-aware of other people’s moods.

And when stress hit? I reached for sugar.

Not because I lacked willpower.Because my nervous system was overwhelmed.

Food became regulation.

When I felt rejected, I ate.When I felt abandoned, I ate.When I felt unseen, I overworked and then ate.

It wasn’t about hunger. It was about safety.

Short-Term and Long-Term Health Effects

If you have a history of childhood adversity, you may notice:

Short-Term Patterns

• Chronic anxiety

• Difficulty sleeping

• Emotional overwhelm

• Digestive issues

• Brain fog

• Binge eating or restrictive cycles

Long-Term Risks

• Cardiovascular disease

• Autoimmune disorders

• Chronic inflammation

• Metabolic dysfunction

• Addiction vulnerability

• Attachment instability

The body stores unresolved stress. I developed chronic inflammation markers in my late twenties — not because I was lazy, but because my nervous system had been on alert for years.

And if you’re in recovery, unprocessed stress increases relapse risk.

When your nervous system is overloaded, the brain reaches for fast relief. Old coping pathways light up.

Relapse isn’t a character flaw.

It’s often a regulation problem. 

The Turning Point: Curiosity Instead of Shame

The shift didn’t happen overnight.

It started when I stopped asking, “Why am I like this?”And started asking, “What happened to my nervous system?”

That question changed everything.

Instead of punishing myself for binge urges, I asked:

• Am I overstimulated?

• Did something trigger abandonment fear?

• Did I skip meals?

• Am I exhausted?

Shame keeps you in survival.

Curiosity builds awareness.

Awareness builds regulation.

A Trauma-Informed Daily Wellness Shift

Healing from childhood adversity isn’t about dramatic breakthroughs. It’s daily regulation.

Here’s what that looks like in real life.

1. Structured Eating (Non-Negotiable)

When I stabilized my meal timing, binge urges decreased dramatically.

Not because I became “stronger.”Because my blood sugar stopped crashing.

If you have trauma history, unpredictability feels unsafe — including skipped meals.

Consistency calms the body.

2. Address Stress Early

I no longer wait until I’m spiraling.

If I notice:

• Jaw tension

• Racing thoughts

• Urge to isolate

I intervene immediately.

Walk. Breathe. Text a safe person. Step outside.

Early regulation prevents late-stage damage.

3. No Isolation During Anxiety Spikes

Trauma tells you to withdraw.

Connection repairs attachment wiring.

When I feel the urge to disappear, I reach out — even briefly.

Two sentences of honesty beat silent suffering.

4. Rest Before Burnout

High-achieving women with trauma histories often run on adrenaline.

Productivity becomes protection.

Now I rest before my body forces me to.

Rest is regulation.

5. Stay Honest

This one hurts.

If I feel triggered, I admit it.If I want to binge, I say it.If I feel abandoned, I name it.

Secrets feed relapse.

Honesty interrupts it.

Recognizing Trauma in Women Today

You don’t need a dramatic backstory to carry toxic stress.

“If your life looks stable but your body never feels safe — that’s the clue.”

 -Dr. Nikki LeToya White

 It can look like:

• Perfectionism

• People-pleasing

• Fear of disappointing others

• Overworking

• Chronic self-doubt

• Emotional eating

• Feeling “too much” or “not enough”

If you’re constantly bracing for something bad to happen — even when life is stable — your nervous system may still be wired for survival.

That’s not weakness.

That’s adaptation.

The Future Is Regulation, Not Hustle

If you’re in recovery, here’s the truth:

You cannot out-discipline an unregulated nervous system.

You can’t shame your way into healing.

You can’t mindset your way out of biochemical stress patterns.

You regulate.You stabilize.You build safety daily.

Slowly, your body learns:

“I’m safe now.”“I don’t have to brace.”“I don’t have to numb.”

That’s when binge cycles soften.That’s when relapse risk drops.That’s when peace becomes sustainable.

Not because you became someone else.

Because you finally gave your nervous system what it needed all along.

“You weren’t weak.You were wired for survival.Now you get to rewire for safety.”

If this resonates and you want to explore how emotional eating connects to relational safety, I share deeper reflections and practices inside my long-form work. You’re welcome to explore when it feels right.

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This space is for people who want to understand their patterns without shaming themselves out of them. If you want to keep exploring how relational safety reshapes emotional eating and codependency, you’re welcome to stay with this work.

No pressure.No fixing.Just steady presence.

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ARE YOU LOOKING TO DIVE DEEPER INTO SELF-CARE?

I Can Help in Developing A Plan For Self Care

 Do you want help developing a self-care plan that works for your own busy schedule? Do you want accountability in implementing a self-care plan? If you or someone you love is struggling to maintain optimal mental and emotional health, consider reaching out to Spiced Life Conversation Art Wellness Studio and Botanica. We are a Metro Atlanta, Conyers Georgia area. We are a coaching and counseling practice with empathetic, skilled counselors and recovery coaches who can help you set goals, develop a self-care routine, and move forward to build a more fulfilling life. Our team would be happy to work with you either just for a couple of sessions to develop and implement a Self-care plan or longer term to work toward overall better mental health within our membership site or other programs.

Dr. Nikki LeToya White

About The Author:  Dr. Nikki LeToya White MSEd-TL, Ph.D. RHN is the founder, director, and full-time board-certified trauma-informed nutritionist, folk herbalist, and wellness consultant at Spiced Life Conversation Art Wellness Studio and Botanica. She created Spiced Life Conversation, LLC Art Wellness Studio, and Botanica to provide the Metro Atlanta area with counseling and coaching services where clients are carefully matched with the right program for healing abandonment and childhood emotional neglect trauma that cause codependency, emotional eating, financial stress, and imposter syndrome as it relates to the fear of success and being abandon. We help you begin your emotional healing journey with ease. Recently, we have expanded to include an online membership site so we now provide support to people living all over the world. All of our recovery coaches provide at least one evidence-based treatment to assist in your recovery. Dr. White is a big proponent of self-care and helping people live a fulfilling life! She has been in full remission with both codependency and emotional binge eating disorder since 2016. In living a life in recovery from sugar addiction. I love my low-sugar balanced lifestyle.

Best Regards

Dr. Nikki LeToya White