Navigating the Journey of a Trucker Wife: Managing Motherhood and Personal Challenges

Adjusting to life as a trucker's wife can be both rewarding and challenging. The long hours on the road, emotional strains of motherhood, and societal pressures can feel overwhelming. On top of that, many trucker wives like myself face mom shaming and issues related to feelings of abandonment for their choice of becoming a stay at home mom, at least for me that was my experience for the five years I was a SAHM. In this blog post, we will explore these unique challenges and offer practical strategies for navigating this lifestyle.

Understanding the Trucker Lifestyle

Being married to a truck driver often means adapting to an unpredictable family schedule. Truck drivers can be away for days or even weeks, most people don't understand this stress. For instance, studies show that over 60% of long-haul drivers are away from home for more than 10 days each month. This long absence can create emotional gaps in family life, contributing to feelings of loneliness and isolation.

While one partner is driving across various states, the other must manage daily family responsibilities, from raising children to handling household chores. This division of labor can lead to misunderstandings and strain within the relationship. For example, when a trucker returns home after a long haul, they might feel disconnected from day-to-day family dynamics, resulting in both partners feeling misunderstood, emotinal distant, and alone in the marriage.

The Weight of Motherhood

For trucker wives, the pressures of motherhood can feel especially intense. Balancing family duties and personal responsibilities is challenging in any situation, but the lifestyle of a trucker's wife can amplify those pressures. Some studies indicate that 78% of parent respondents reported feeling judged about their parenting choices, especially those with non-traditional family setups.

Mom shaming frequently stems from societal expectations. This can manifest in criticism over choices like allowing a child to play outside alone or deciding how to handle morning routines, or jealously of a mother not having to work while other mothers have to. For instance, a mother might face backlash for letting her child eat breakfast while watching TV, even if that arrangement helps keep the peace during busy mornings. Such criticism can lead to self-doubt and anxiety about one’s parenting abilities.

Dealing with Abandonment Issues

The long absences that come with a truck driving career can trigger feelings related to abandonment in many trucker wives, espically those like me who have expereince abandonment in childhood and now as a trucker wife the separtaion anxiety triggers these old memories and wounds. If someone has experienced abandonment in their past, the constant separations can bring back those old feelings, complicating current relationships. Recognizing and understanding the origin of these emotions is crucial.

It’s vital to communicate these feelings openly with your partner. For example, if someone feels left out during holidays or family events, discussing it openly can foster understanding. Sharing the weight of this emotional burden can lead to empathy from the partner on the road, ultimately strengthening the relationship.

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Developing Coping Strategies

Navigating the challenges of motherhood and personal struggles requires effective coping strategies. Here are some approaches to consider:

Establish a Support Network

Connecting with other trucker wives can provide much-needed companionship. Whether it's through local meetups or online groups, sharing experiences and advice helps transform isolation into solidarity. Just knowing others face similar challenges can be comforting.

Prioritize Self-Care

Taking time for yourself is essential for overall well-being. Setting aside 30 minutes each day for a hobby or relaxation can recharge your batteries. For instance, taking a walk or diving into a favorite book can significantly uplift your mood.

Set Realistic Expectations

Recognizing that perfection is elusive can reduce pressure. Some days will be more challenging than others. Adjusting your expectations accordingly allows you to embrace the chaos when it comes. For example, if dinner is a frozen pizza one night, that's perfectly acceptable.

Fostering Independence in Children

Encouraging children to take on small tasks can reduce stress for mothers. Helping kids learn to make their beds or assist with meal prep fosters independence and boosts their confidence. This lessens dependency, making it easier for mothers to manage their obligations.

Allowing children to have a say in decisions, such as what to prepare for dinner or planning family game nights, enhances their sense of ownership and responsibility.

Communication is Key

Maintaining open lines of communication can strengthen your relationship. Regular check-ins via video calls or messaging can help bridge the gap left by physical distance. Sharing daily experiences, struggles, and accomplishments can help both partners stay connected emotionally.

Setting specific times for engagement, like a designated family night or weekend calls, creates a routine everyone can look forward to. Knowing when to expect communication can lessen feelings of loneliness for both the trucker and their family.

Embracing Emotional Vulnerability

Addressing the emotional weight of motherhood and feelings of abandonment requires self-awareness. Recognizing when these emotions arise and confronting them directly is crucial. Utilizing tools like journaling or seeking a counselor can help process these feelings.

Acknowledging vulnerability paves the way for creating a safe environment where children feel comfortable expressing their feelings too. This open dialogue fosters healthy emotional development and makes the household a more supportive place overall.

Finding Balance in a Unique Lifestyle

Living as a trucker’s wife presents distinct challenges, especially concerning motherhood and feelings of abandonment. While the journey can often feel isolating, know that you are not alone. Building a supportive network, practicing self-care, and maintaining open lines of communication with your partner are critical for managing this lifestyle effectively.

A focus on balance and understanding the importance of emotional expression can enhance not only your well-being but also your family's. By embracing independence, fostering connections, and addressing emotional challenges together, it becomes possible to find harmony in both family obligations and personal growth.

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Need Help Developing A Plan For Self-Care

Do you want help developing a self-care plan that works for your busy schedule? Do you want accountability in implementing a self-care plan? If you or someone you love is struggling to maintain optimal mental and emotional health, consider reaching out to Spiced Life Conversation Art Wellness Studio and Botanica. We are a Metro Atlanta, Conyers Georgia area. We are a coaching and counseling practice with empathetic, skilled counselors and recovery coaches who can help you set goals, develop a self-care routine, and move forward to build a more fulfilling life. Our team would be happy to work with you either just for a couple of sessions to develop and implement a Self-care plan or longer term to work toward overall better mental health within our membership site or other programs.

About The Author:

Dr. Nikki LeToya White MSEd-TL, Ph.D. RHN is the founder, director, and full-time board-certified trauma-informed nutritionist, folk herbalist, and wellness consultant at Spiced Life Conversation Art Wellness Studio and Botanica. She created Spiced Life Conversation, LLC

Art Wellness Studio and Botanica to provide the Metro Atlanta area with counseling and coaching services where clients are carefully matched with the right program for healing abandonment and childhood emotional neglect trauma that cause codependency, emotional eating, financial stress, and imposter syndrome as it relates to fear of success and being abandon. We help you begin your emotional healing journey with ease. Recently, we have expanded to include an online membership site so we now provide support to people living all over the world. All of our recovery coaches provide at least one evidence-based treatment to assist in your recovery. Dr. White is a big proponent of self-care and helping people live a fulfilling life! She has been in full remission with both codependency and emotional binge eating disorder since 2016. In living a life in recovery from sugar addiction. Loving her low-sugar balance lifestyle.

Best Regards

Dr. Nikki LeToya White